Tacos Are Important

This picture is from El Arroyo in Austin, TX. Pretty much everything at El Arroyo sucks (food, people, atmosphere,) but for some reason I go here to buy breakfast tacos. Probably because I do not want to "Eat fresh" at you know where. Occasionally I give them about $3 for 3 margaritas. Count it - 3 for 3. I don't care if they're giving me margarita flavored chardonnay, it's probably worth a dollar for the homeless person buzz I get before I have to go back to work and listen to Cher.

Who buys seafood from "Mexican" restaurants anyway? Fucking gross. I say "Mexican" because we all know that places like El Arroyo and El Chilito and anything else that serves white-people-mexican-food is ultimately an insult to my people and our fine cuisine. So let's all face the fact that the food would probably taste better dipped in crude oil.

Now what's this I hear about an oil spill?

JESUS DANCING CHRIST.

Click on Jesus to see what he's really capable of.

Thanks to Chris, my favorite person in Egypt, for making this available for me to dream about.

Also, MC Taylor is my hero.

NEWS: Whiny Bitch Scrapes Knee

This whiny bitch fell down today because he was not able to stand up for himself against a bully. His 19 year old mother laughed, and proceeded to hit on the father of the bully. Someone needs to tell this bitch to quit crying and act like a man. The bully is currently on the top of the slide with two sluts about to learn about LIFE.

Totally Poor

I can drink where? COOL!

"No officer, you are wrong as per the WetNDry amendment to the statute"

I don't even know what that means. I haven't watched Law & Order in a long time and I'm tired.

"That's: THE WONDERS"

"You guys look great in red, have I told you that?"

Old News: Prostitute Snorted Cocaine Off Infant's Stomach While Breastfeeding

I made this picture two years ago when the story was still relevant.

From FoxNews.com:

"While Cook's children were in the car with her, she performed sex acts on at least two men for money, smoked crack cocaine in the car and even snorted cocaine off the infant's stomach while she was breastfeeding, Kilcullen said."

Correction: this story will always be relevant. What this woman accomplished is nothing short of a contortionist miracle. I have been borrowing babies to try this, but to no avail. They're squishy and they smell like shit.

Read the short, but full article here.

The Solution to Africa's Food Crisis: Fondufrica

Fondue feeds EVERYONE.